Thursday 16 September 2010

3rdWoerld

Hello dear readers, and welcome back to another slice of semi retarded musings about the world we live in, its everybody’s favourite garrison town based blog, the Aldershot Woes: Episode 45: 3rdWoerld?

Repent all ye sinners, the time of judgement is upon us and all whom continue to chose the sides of evil shall face the fiery wrath of hell and the eternal damnation of your soul… Yeah that’s right, fathers lock up your daughters, the old Pope is coming to town, well not the old Pope the new Pope… you know what I mean. I am not a catholic but as I understand, it’s like C of E but with confession and a ban on Johnnies (I may be oversimplifying it a little), but I think this new Pope is creepy, isn’t he? He looks like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars which doesn’t help, but the creepiest thing is his eyes, little black vortexes of nastiness, he looks like the sort of bloke who’d kick a guide dog for no good reason… Even without taking the child abuse scandal and the whole Hitler’s Youth thing in to consideration he is still a right old wrong’en, with the Catholic church having a less than perfect reputation over the last 50 years or so I would have thought they would have chosen a pontiff with a lot more likeability, a Pope of the people with a cheesy grin and shiny teeth, rather than a guy who looks like he lives under a bridge and clubs goats to death for kicks. But like I say I aint Catholic, so it isn’t my position to say who they should have in charge, but being honest I do think he is disturbing, but seeing as how last week I was in furore over some yank defiling the Koran, it would callus of me to now bash the most important man in Catholicism (well after old JC any how) just for looking a bit creepy (I mean you wouldn’t sit next to him on the Tube would you?) so I wont, oh no, my axe to grind is with his buddy Cardinal Kasper (the unfriendly holy ghost) who has said that the British are a Godless bunch and that the UK resembles a third world country. Well I am afraid that he has crossed the line with that remark. Third world? The cheek of it, the brazen bloody cheek of it…

We need to take a stand against this ignorant antianglophilic statement, this German god botherer may think it is acceptable to make these outlandish statements about the country most consider to be Gods back garden, but we need to show him he is wrong. This beautiful happy island of dreams represents the pinnacle of sociological progression, we are a multicultural haven and an example for the world, and how he can say that we as nation are prejudice against any set of people is an outrage… I am in shock that a German of all peoples would make such comments about good old Blighty. It is no wonder so many people are in uproar against this Kraut and his racist remarks (of course this is typical of old fritz) and are demanding an apology. I mean a third world country? We may have rising unemployment, bleak outdated buildings, a Victorian water supply and sewage system, an archaic and flawed political system, a outdated greedy monarchy, a rapidly decreasing currency, an unsettled populous, lingering strikes for public services, plague riddled hospitals, mass influx of foreign unskilled workers, an ever increasing rate of violent crimes, ghetto estates run by drug dealers, increasing numbers of drug addicts, an expanding network of drug dealers and supply of class A drugs, we may have more under 16s pregnant than anywhere else in Europe, our education system may have slipped from 4th in the world to 18th in Europe over the last 10 years, we may have high suicide rates, and families in 3rd generation unemployment, increasing illiteracy, decreasing numbers of 5 year olds who can read, a welfare system riddled with holes that fails those who need it most but rewards those who don’t, so our society operates on a grossly unfair two tier system where 10 percent of the population controls 95 percent of the nations assets and money, so we continue to hold on to archaic dated hereditary piers, and we have a government exclusively ran for the benefit of the controlling top 10% of the population, so we face cuts to our already failing education system, to our incompetent justice system and our impoverished health service, so we can’t help our injured soldiers who are being risked to ensure the oil we steal from middle eastern countries is never liberated, so we send our young off to die not for honour or for our country or any righteous reason other than the continuation of wealth to the already wealthy, so we are poor, unemployed, ignorant, sick, alcoholic, homeless, dirty, criminal, downtrodden and delusional… WE ARE NOT A THIRD WORLD NATION. And I do not think the Cardinal has thought much at all about what he is saying.



Woe.

29 comments:

  1. easy RBAman...deep breaths now. looks like the kasper dude has turned out to be the biggest wummer of 'em all.

    great blog as always mate...though the silver lining on all the clouds you've painstakingly listed is of course the fact that England has greatest footy league in the world. er.ahem..whats that then?

    and of course..FIRST!

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  2. Cheers AH mate... Old Kasper the Wummer. I just thought it were funny that a german had a dig at britain and people was in shock about it... whatever next!!!

    I see the pope just likened the Atheism in britian to teh rise of teh Nazis... well if anyone would know???

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  3. Be-Re-ill-ia-ant Maaaannnnnn!

    Fucking gerries thinking that they're better then us because we won the war and their economy still comes out on top. I knew this pope was gonna be a problem, nothing good has ever came from a German-Italian collaberation.

    Not to worry though, soon enough all the Itais in the vatican will desert the sausage suckers and will side with Blighty, the yankies will then swoop in help us get rid of the krauts and all will be well. We can then look forward to years of historically incorrect films coming from Hollywood to show how the US of A single handedly took down the evil Pope Empire. It will be great.

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  4. I think Pope is bored just being in the Vatican. Meeting the likes of JT, Cashley and Wazza must certainly be on the itinerary of the Pope.

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  5. We can then look forward to years of historically incorrect films coming from Hollywood to show how the US of A single handedly took down the evil Pope Empire. It will be great.
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    H2H, I will be eagerly waiting for Dan Brown's novel once that happens (Frankly speaking, I really dont know if Pope Empire is evil)

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  6. I like the idea of The Pope's advisor saying landing at Heathrow is like entering a third world country.

    So we make him land in Glasgow to show him exactly what a third world country looks like.

    I followed the recipe to the letter RBA and I appear to have Scholsey's kidney left over.Any tips?

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  7. yeah but ss11, frankly speaking we dont KNOW that it is not evil neither... i think were wise to air on the side of caution with this one...

    Guys, thanks for the words, Hman (SNH5) quality... i remember when the americans took down the Greeks by hiding in that massive wooden cheesburger...

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  8. Did he really say all that? Typical germans. Somebody ought to tell him that Jerusalem was builded here! Not here, I mean there, you know, in England.

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  9. Jacks... yes, get a quality steak, make some decent gravy and knock up a rich pastry... ts pie o clock brother!

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  10. He did trotts even though Jesus was from kent and god was born in Rawtenstall... i dun fink he ever read teh bible or nuffin... ignant kraut...

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  11. I bet he's in favour of video goal line technology but doesn't want it in his own pulpit. If Henry VIII was still on the throne he'd keep his effin gob shut.

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  12. he should stick to bashin' the bishop and leave England alone.

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  13. yeah if old H the 8th was about he'd knock, the his fucking teeth out...

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  14. H the 8th would of knocked his teeth out and shagged his sister.

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  15. te pope is on the news now saying the queen is a smelly old cunt

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  16. the pope personally tortured anne frank and it gave him such a kick he set up the church as a massive paedophile ring. and he's got the nerve to criticise the catering at heathrow!

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  17. class blog my old friend who i dont really know

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  18. a Victorian water supply and sewage system,
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    not anymore my friend....why even ye olde londonium clean water and sewage system is being updated......i know cos i worked on it....when i had a job.......and now i dont....wail...

    sniff...(slaps face)...no we used to have a very outdated system it is true but over the past 20 years we have zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....sorry i bored myself there.

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  19. I followed the recipe to the letter RBA and I appear to have Scholsey's kidney left over.Any tips?

    RedBlueArmy92 said...
    Jacks... yes, get a quality steak, make some decent gravy and knock up a rich pastry... ts pie o clock brother!________________________________

    Oi oi oi...whats goin on ere then?

    why i oughta ******* knock *** banana ******** mallet ***** *** * saucepan ***** KFC ** Tesco ****** Gary ******* BHB ***** St Georges Cross **** ****** it aint half hot mum *** ***** Jethro ****** Stringfellows.

    I think i got my message across loud and clear.

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  20. GNev for pope, that would be really evil.

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  21. get this, not only was the pope a member of the hitler youth, he was the Head of the Inquisition!!!!!!! (the Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition, now badge engineered as Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith)

    in this role, which had responsibility for accusations of child abuse by priests, he wrote one of those letters -De delictis gravioribus -which are cannn law and basically says KEEP IT QUIET BOYS keep it quiet

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  22. the Pope met his boyfriend at a castinete class where they clicked. no it was in te vatican library - thats novel. no it was on the golf course where they hit it off. actually it was in the vatican museum - the rest is history. no, wayne rooney intriduced them - that was a no-brainer.

    to be honest he hsnt got a boy friend. he likes little girls.

    if that doesnt get me off the hook from spending an eternity in heaven stuck with a bunch of boring christian cunts i dont know what will

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  23. will the Pope be visiting a crack house while he's in England?

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  24. Cracking blog as always R to the B to the A. Was I the only one who passed out when reading it cos I didn't stop to breathe, what with there being no full stops and all?

    England is in a state. No argument there, but a bit cheeky of his holiness to point it out. Who does he think he is? Bono? Lenny Henry?

    I believe that Gary Neville is a chipmunk faced Catholic.

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  25. Noel... i do try and warn people about the grammatic mess each blog i write is in the introduction, what i would do is just breath at every commar or every 10th word... or somink... truth is we would have these problems breathing if it werent for the oppresive catholic church and thier army of peado nazis...


    Seriously though fellas... Awesome comments, the best bit of every Woe i do...

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  26. obviously we're not a thrid world nation because if we were we'd believe in god wouldnt we. get your story straight, lad.

    noel - englands not in a bad state at all. blake was right, its heaven on earth.

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  27. Maybe England should apply for 3rd world nation status, it can't be all bad.
    Pop stars would hold benefit concerts and there could be telethons where you could send in money to save yourself. The weather might get a bit better too.

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  28. Don't wish to dampen the tone, but more Falklands War veterans have committed suicide since the war due to lack of welfare, medical, psychiatric care, then were actually killed during the war. That's a fucking tragedy, and it still carries on with another generation of soldiers.

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