Hello and welcome to another Friday edition of the Aldershot Woes, this is the 40th installation of the Woes so expect a mid blog crisis half way through the article where I start going to festivals, wearing trainers, and knobbing my secretary to prove I am still a real blog goddammit!
Its Friday, and as such I was thinking of writing some light hearted musings about cakes or blowing off or something equally unchallenging and brain-dead to help us all kill some time before we all naff off for the weekend, but then I read about how Stephen Hawking called the pope a liar and stupid and gave him a Chinese burn and claimed that only a man with a chewed up dog toy for a brain could possibly believe that god made the universe, so instead I am going to write about the creation of the universe and the existence of god.
Some people like to know they are being looked after, they like security, and they like harmony, so they look at the unknown reason of existence and apply this desired comfort to their outlook of it and decide it’s much easier to live thinking that everything has a purpose and a plan, that people should be good and not complete bastards and above all else there is a point to life. Ahhhhh, relaxing! Other people want to look after life, rather than have it look after them, they want to know why life is like it is and how it got to be that way. They hate the idea that life is not in their hands to control and that they are merely the moving cogs in a divine plan set in motion by some omnipresent deity, they see actions and reactions and the idea of fate scares them to death as it essentially renders them powerless in life. So they look at the unknown reason for existence and apply this outlook to it, and decide it is far easier to live life knowing that one thing only happens as a result of another thing happening and that ultimately life and what we do with it is entirely up to us… Eureka, relaxing! Both of these seem like rational enough courses to take in life, I can see how the idea of God looking after you would comfort you, knowing that no matter what horrendous thing happens ultimately it is for the greater good. I can also see that knowing we can shape and manipulate life for our own gain, knowing that we are the true masters of our destiny also provides a huge amount of relief in your day to day life. The two opposing schools of thought offer purpose of existence depending on your mindset, so every ones happy and its all good, surely? Well no it’s not, its all bloody terrible… apparently.
Science and religion are constantly bickering like brother and sister on a rainy Saturday afternoon, it’s an argument of perpetual one-upmanship, each side occasionally proves a point but eventually it comes back to “yeah butt” and “prove it” as an exercise of futility its probably up their with Heskey’s England career. And the area which creates the greatest amount of furore is existence. Not the why which strikes me as the larger question but the how, the religious say it was all god, he made the universe and everything in it as part of some huge plan we’re all to thick to really understand, but stick with as eternal bliss is waiting for us, provided were not complete arseholes. He even made man in his own image, although not in his skill set as he made the universe and your average human can’t make an Ikea flat-pack chest-of-draws. The scientists believe its all explainable, a series of causes and events for the last squillion years have resulted in our tiny bubble of life, thanks to the right steps in the expansion of the universe we happen to be just the right distance from the sun to not burn or freeze and as a result water and sticks and stuff are around, and then thanks to a fish making a choice about a trillion years ago we were set on a evolutionary chain of events that has left us now as the proud bum scratching i-phone owning leaders of the world. If I am honest neither explanation makes much sense to me. No one knows do they. I mean religious people can say it’s all in some ancient texts or an angel told them or anything really, and well as highly unlikely as it is, I can’t prove them wrong, but what they have to back them up is faith, so it’s open to scepticism. Science people though they have the big bang theory, and they act as if this is real science… but it isn’t. Its scientific faith, and is no more provable than religion. It’s a hypothesis with some manipulated evidence to back it up, and I would not be at all surprised if in 50 years time people snicker at big-bang theorists in the same way Columbus chuckled his tits off at the flat-earth berks…
I think we’d all be better off if religious people focused their do-goodness on some actual causes rather than rowing with a man in a wheel chair, and science cured cancer or gave me hover boots rather than antagonising a bunch of god-botherers. In the end were asking questions we are not equipped to answer, so all were left with is futile bickering. My stance is this, science will take us so far and help us a great deal but some questions need to remain unanswered to make life exciting, the how’s why’s and what the f*cks of life are what its all about. As such I’m starting my own school of thought “Maybeism” we have no core beliefs and anything that is not 100% provable we give it a warm MAYBE, shrug and carry on with life. (I was going to end with it being a portmanteau of religion and science called “reliance” but feared any lactose intolerant readers would die).