Monday, 13 September 2010


Hello once more and welcome back to the blog that shines a light of ignorance on to the world and then makes lewd shadow puppets. Episode 44: 2010

Ok it’s only September and usually that’s considered a little bit early for a round up of the year that has been, usually this sort of look back over the year happens at Christmas time when were all thinking “Jesus this year went quick”, before we enter a mire of misery as we contemplate our own mortality and try to work out whether the last 12 months have been an absolute waste of time or not. But it is already safe to say that 2010 is the worst year since records began, I mean October through December is going to have to bring nothing but diamonds and blow jobs for us all, for this year to even be considered remotely OK. It’s been an absolute shambles, from every aspect that broader life can be judged. We may have had personal joys, little selfish pockets of merriment, being a selfish prick myself I had a son, who is brilliant, and I know some people who have got married and some who have had holidays, but I am not talking about little micro nuggets of bliss, I am talking about the bigger picture, which at present looks like it was painted by Hieronymus Bosch on a downer… things are bleak.

In every aspect of life we are looking haggard and you can’t blame the pessimists amongst us for thinking that old mankind is on the ropes and his day is just about numbered. The world, for want of a better phrase, is going to shi!t, and society is mirroring it perfectly. I think that mankind (I mean us, not the wrestler for any confused readers) is subconsciously sabotaging itself in preparation for the Armageddon, I think we are purposely making as bigger balls up of the world as we can so when the day comes that we do all fire nuclear bombs at ourselves, or the ice caps melt or one of the other trillion ways in which life on this damp ball of earth can be extinguished, we all think “Ah well, its all bollocksed anyway”, we are currently “ragging” the planet like it’s a rental car on the last day of our holidays… The reason I believe we are on this predispositioned road of destruction is because this year for an unknown reason the UK decided it wanted a Tory Government. And we did this on the back of them, straight to our faces, telling us that they will cut the money spent on us, will increase the money they take from us and do it all in order to pay off the debts that we didn’t make. They didn’t lie, they said there will be job cuts, they said there will be public spending cuts, they said that the money they save will pay off the “deficit” in government borrowing, they did all of this right to our faces, their only trick was to smile when they told us this… and more than 50% of us thought this was a good idea and voted for them. Now they are in charge and hacking money away from where it matters most to regular people, Education (they can buy theirs) Health Care (they can buy theirs) and Justice (again, they can buy theirs). And whilst they have drastic reforms to the welfare system denying those in need and beating them on the nose with a copy of the Daily Mail like a naughty dog, they are prepared to spend a hundred times more the amount on nuclear weapons which we will then sign up not to use… And we voted for them, subconscious sabotage is the only logical explanation.

But before this turns in to a huge anti-tory propaganda sheet, lets get back to the matter, the sh!tty old year its been, and politics are only half of the reason. We may have rising unemployment, and double dip recessions to deal with, and all hopes of us being saved by the “other side” look like they rest with 2 posh brothers who look like page boys at a dukes wedding, but surely society is doing ok? Well no, society only exists on computers and if you go outside you’ll get stabbed in the face, eaten by a Staffy and propositioned by half the England national football team, society is far from OK, and why should it be what do we have to be happy about, nothing… we have gone from sunshine happiness and affordable consumer goods to STI’s, Speedballs and 11 out of 10 British people being from Umygoomygulu land. But 2010 had the potential to be a corker, especially as summer rolled in bringing sunshine and a World Cup, but all it delivered were Rob Green, tears and more wasps than in ANY year previous. And I think we all know it is no coincidence that as misery rises so do wasps… Wasps are like the Ooze in Ghostbusters 2, they feed off human suffering and grow strong from our sadness. So 2010 brought us betrayal from our populous as we voted in the cretin brigade, disappointment from our preened ho-banging footballers and the I-phone 4. 2010 is easily the worst since records began and I really can’t see things getting any better before Christmas is done and dusted… roll on 2011.



  1. One of my favourite paintings is "Welcome to the garden of earthly delights">

    Not sure if BHB would like her October to December as you painted it.I'm sure half of it would be lovely for her.I just don't think she'd swallow the other bit.

    Life is always one big shuffle of nothingness with pockets of happiness to lighten the load.

    Such as my daughter is in today's Independent.Makes a change from her dad being on crime watch.Still,almost Christmas which means the PDC world champs.Whitlock v Taylor in the final,with the Aussie to win.

  2. RedBlueArmy92 said...

    today i slag off the tory party and wasps

    (the insects not White Anglo Saxon Protestants)
    Ha!I think you may have something here.Get rid of wasps and T**y pollies at the same time.Shove them all in a gas holder filled with strawberry jam..............mmm strawberry jam...........throw in a few copies of the Smellygraph and they can sting and swat to their tiny flint like heart's content.


    well,the T**ies are anyway.

  3. Whitlock to win... no way ray... Jelle Klaasen to do it... the underdog speed demon to beat Barny in the final (barny to beat taylor in semi, jelle to beat priestly in the other semi)...

    Anyhow, your girls in the indy? awesome mate how come? (send us a link if its online)... congrats to her...

    yeah life has alwasy been shit, but this year we have oil spills, torries and a shit world cup, and a billion wasps.

  4. It's not easy to spot her.

    top right hand corner red head(on my shoulders)holding the red balloon.

    We went into Stoke on Trent to see the cycling.I show my family the high life!!

  5. Klaassen has all the skills,just not the mentality.

    Whitlock seems to be the only player throwing well enough,and heavily enough,to worry Taylor.Who is as awesome as ever.

  6. I realise the picture of Elizabeth(you can also make out Kathyn,but that's really tricky)isn't exactly this but I'm quite chuffed.

  7. Woe nderful blog once again brud, damn I'm glad I live in Holland, affordable, good quality drugs, a team that actually turned up at the WC (still didn't drown the pain of England being shit) and no Tories.
    Our (joke of a) government can't even agree long enough to form a coalition and nobody really gives a shit, so this country just chuggs along *blissfully ignorent regardless.

    *Thanks to affordable quality drugs.

  8. Thank you for another leftie propaganda sheet.

    With reference to your nuclear weapons statement myself and Lord Dave has decided that there is some merit in what you say and have decided to reduce these to 4 missiles pointed at Pyongyang, Tehran, Moscow (old habits die hard) and Aldershot. That way we can guarantee all enemies of freedom are extinguished (although we may aim it at Liverpool depending on GNev getting the defence secretary post)

    For some sense please read

  9. Don't you worry son, we're on the precipice of paradise, it'll be here mid-November, just you wait and see. There'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover and we'll all be singing Happy Days Are here Again.

  10. adampsb said...

    Thank you for another leftie propaganda sheet.
    ha ha(Nelson style)

    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up.

    ha ha(not Nelson style)

  11. Happy days are here again?

    I hope not, the Fonz sucked balls.

  12. Hey, cheers guys...

    Becasue something is anti-right doesnt necesarily make it left... i hate hippies as much as i hate poshoes...

    Hman, SNH5 broseph, haapy birthday as wekk mang, 21 again? drug are tehanswer to the erm... what was the question.

    Trotts, is the glass half filled or is the glass half empty, it all depnd is your drinking or pouring... Bill Cosby said that, so you know its good... i neeed money for a T'ket!

  13. good blog as always RBAman...though i thought it was a great year meself..we got rid of woy and joe cole who are gonna win us everything (er..ahem..well its only 4 games old) and my daughter took her first steps in a liverpool sleep suit..that said..i'm all with Trotts..its all gonna get better soon..up the shots mate!

  14. i tink you may be taking aldershot's 1-0 defeat to vale too much to heart, rba

  15. The glass is overfuckinflowin' mate, count your blessings, pin your gratitude list on the ceiling over you bed (if you have a bed) (if you have a ceiling) and read it every morning and night (if you can read) (if you wake up).

  16. i once had a blow job off anne diamond. there ive said it.

  17. better than one off Neil Diamond Scholesy!

  18. to be honest i was thinking i had a pretty good year, which included (like AH)my daughters first steps (if it were in a liverpool lsleep suit it would have been her last though:)and also the birth of my son (contraception aint big in aldershot) add to that i found a fiver in Reading and bought a dart board... 2010 rocks! Life is a garden, you just got to dig it, keep on rocking, life hands you lemons make lemonade, if your alergc to lemons, i am sorry...

  19. Ok, for me it was very UK specific. But neverthless a good one. Did'nt you win the T20 WC in Cricket? Colly-the English hero!!!

    For me the year has just started... ;)