Monday, 9 August 2010


Hello once more, and welcome to another week of Aldershot flavoured comedy Woes. I have received literally no comments about the newer condensed Woe form which leads me to believe it’s a good thing or at the least a thing people don’t care about. Anyway, on with this the 32nd Aldershot Woe which is cleverly titled Episode 32 of the Aldershot Woes: Baby Robots.

When I was little I watched Transformers and played with the toys and basically thought it was the ess-haych-eye-tea! Then as I became a teenager I fell in love with nerdy Japanese cartoons about big robots with enormous guns. And now I am a parent and a grown up with responsibilities and all that jazz, but still the thought of anything robotic awakens the immature youth in me and I start day dreaming about mech-suits and photon blasters like an 8 year old… The trouble is I can’t let go, and the reason I have these robo-nostalgic attachment issues is I have been lied to.

Tomorrow’s world, now simply a clip-show guide to how flipping stupid we were 15 years ago, but when I was 8 that was the future and it constantly promised robots and jet packs and hover boards and ray-guns and space cruisers and it hasn’t delivered on anything! (I’ll admit perhaps I am making up a large percentage of what Tomorrows world did “promise” but so what, its my inner child that is being let down so I’ll allow myself to be petulant this once). Nope, here we are in the future, and rather than ultra cool alien fighting warriors with robotic best friends, the people on the cusp of technology are the boffs that paid attention at school. And to think I thought that by drawing robots instead of making notes I was genuinely preparing for the future… pish! Anyway, today I still have a fascination with anything robotic, and when I see a story that has anything to do with the emergence and progress of robots I read it in the hope that rather than an interview with some white-coated crack pot prattling on about firmware codes, its about a rogue android going skitzo and blowing up its lab and escaping to crush its human creators… but alas it is usually the former. Anyhoo, today I read a story about a new robot that has the emotions of a 1 year old human, this captured my interest as it is a) about robots and I love them and b) I have a one year old daughter so I know just how absolutely mental they are.

Now I am sure that there is no intention behind toddler-bots and this is just a step in the progress of robo-emotions but the more I think about this the more potential to be hideously dangerous it becomes. As well as being absolutely hilarious and painfully cute, my daughter (16 months) is on an emotional rollercoaster 24 hours a day, when you are that age you do not stop absorbing information and as such emotional responses are usually extreme, which is fine for a human child. Obviously they get upset when they are told off for putting things in the toilet, but this teaches boundaries, respect and rules, and a human toddlers resulting tantrum is handled easily by a cuddle a little chat and if need be some chocolate buttons. But now imagine the hissy-fit a terminator would have when it was time to leave the park? Bloodshed… And when it comes to bedtime and you have to leave Ed-209 (Robocop for anyone not as hugely geekish as me) in his cot screaming like a banshee, well get ready to be sprayed with machine gun fire. And whoever it is that volunteers to change Megtron’s sh!tty arse, is a hero in my book!

Yep when we get to the future and its Matrix style robo-dominance and a life of oppression and Keanu reeves is mans salvation, chances are rather than some suave ultra evil rogue programme or ghost in the shell downloaded corrupted psyche file leading our robotic oppressors, it will be a robotic toddler that we told off for playing in the cat litter tray.

Robotic toddlers, bad idea!



  1. First!!!

    At last a claim to fame!!

    ps did u see the Aldershot game on Sat? Any first impressions?

  2. that's it? One comment, well, two now. Did you not advertise this one? Thank goodness I have a robot who brought me a cuppa tea and the lap top with notice of the new Woe being posted.

    mmmmm chocolate buttons.

    p.s. did you see the Aldershot game on Saturday?

  3. Hi R(Did you see the Aldershot game on Saturday?)BA

    Nice blog mate, being in the same boat (so to speak) the thought of a robot baby or toddler scares the shit out of me....although i suppose i wouldnt worry so much about them jumping off the sofa near the glass door, running up the driveway towards the busy road or receiving a robo sweet from that weird bloke who always seems to be around (NO no Bloggy).

    As for tomorrows world..bah...(imagine this spoken in a whiny, immature, mocking voice*)......"this is called a compact disc, it is virtually indestructable, look you can even spread strawberry jam on it, stamp on it and stick it up yer arse and it will still play perfectly"

    *What do you mean, you imagine thats how i speak anyway?

    p.s. DID you see the Aldershot game on Saturday?

  4. Trotts i did'nt advertise it... so thanks for finding it and leaving words... Awesome!

    Scholes and Trotts Aces lads, i only write a blog for your comments...

    And D.E.T (and others) i didn't see the game sat, just the highlights thing on beeb, we seemed ok though, saw them pre-season and they looked brilliant... Dillons assesment of teh pitch was brilliant "i think the pitch won 3-0"

    But Watford tonight, not going unfortunately but am pretty sure we'll get a hiding... just hope we do our selves proud...


  5. Why is there no Tomorrow's World on anymore?

    Is this it? Is there no tomorrow?

    In the past, did the so called called creations of Tommorow actually take over at the beeb replacing tv makers, directors and workers with mindless drones? (would explain D Bond and P McNutcase)


  6. ....and I only comment in the hope that you'll write another blog. Then I spend all the time between your blogs pondering the implications on humanity of the highlighted woes, the issues you raise that affect the very core of civilization. And one day leads to the next and the horizon of enlightenment remains horizontal. Ahhhh I'd give my first born robot for a TommyB hot dog.

  7. Trotts, that comment coupled with your "mornign troots" reply to HBH on robbos are two of teh best posts for quite some time!

    Hman, David Bond looks like a bastard milliband brother/ apprentice nominee... and i am meant to listen him about sport... ballderdash!

    the bbc is shit really, apart from eastenders, phil mitchel smoking crack rocks last night is the best thing i ever did seen!

  8. Indeed RBA, you hit the nail on the crack head...he's like his brother Basildon, not worth the paper he's written on. There's a new answer to the age old question "What do you wipe yer arse on?"

  9. Hi R(Aldershot game on Saturday?)BA

    Sorry for the Shots last night mate. Not fair, but anywyas, good blog mate. But do not worry about all the nonsence you'v just wrote, it's the Matrix making you beleive it is real. And that cuppa tea Trot drank is also not real. But the juicy steak that I'm having right now is as real as the juicy steak i had last week because I'm the one